Worn out and raggled from an almost sleepless night, I am sitting down to write my first blog. Im not worn out from Eli bug neither was my night sleepless due to him.
Rather, I found myself up all night with pains in my belly worrying about my unborn child Fyn and whether labour was imminent.
After my way less than pleasant birthing experience with Eli, I am having worries about the pain of birthing my second child, about rediscovering breastfeeding (which Ive only just stopped doing for my first child who was 14 months at the time.)
Ive found though that my biggest worries this time around arent the birth, the breastfeeding and the recovery but rather my concern lies in whether or not I am completely insane to be having another child so soon after Eli.
I hear all the time about how hard single mothers have life and bringing up a child, but even though I have been married for 3 years now and been with my husband for 5 years Im still a mess with a child, Hardly a glamourous mother, I spend day in and day out in my pjs, seldom is my house tidy let alone clean!
I snap, dance, snooze and long for that peace at 7 oclock When my boisterous little Eli bug is down for the count.. for all night!!
My washing tends to be in mounds on the floor and sometimes I feel like there are planets growing on the sink I struggle to keep empty of dishes each day.
I blame my growing belly and the debilitating tiredness that sweeps over me by lunchtime. A tiredness I never got when I was pregnant with Eli.
Am I completely insane to add to my little zoo (husband son and pigstye) yet another bouncing boy?
Yes, I probably am, but with my unbrushed hair, unwashed clothes, unplucked brows and tiredness to difficult to describe is a heart full of love.
Watching Eli get excited and roar at the dinosaur stickers on his wall, seeing my husbands boots in my pet hate spot near the couch and dragging my rotund belly to and fro from the toilet each night is me being a mother!
It warms my heart.
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